10 Ways You are Sabotaging Your Relationship

How do you know if you are relationship material? The answer to that question is not always as straightforward as many would have you believe.

One of the primary issues is that evaluating yourself can be a difficult task. It takes a high level of honesty to be critical of oneself. No one likes to feel like they are the drama, but you may have some things that need to be worked on. Those things could be holding you back in the love department. If marriage is what you seek, you may need to change certain ways.

So right in time for Valentine’s Day, let’s do a little introspection to ensure you are holding up your end of the bargain.

10 You Party Too Often

Relationships - Party Too Often

Who doesn’t like to go out for a drink now and then? You’re the type who takes it to new heights. You go out to drink almost every night of the week. Then, there are the weekends. That’s when you double down and drink even more.

Keep a happy home by planning events at home with your significant other, or be sure to include them in your evening activities. The key is to maintain a balance. Ensure you are getting the free time you desire while also being careful not to let your partner feel alienated.

9 You Do Not Keep Your Promises

Relationships - Not Keeping your Word

Why is that? You tell someone you are going to do something and never follow through. This action starts to make you look dishonest. This does not mean that you are beholden to every word you speak. Sometimes life does get in the way, but patterns can tell a story. Going against your own word too often can leave your partner feeling like you can not be trusted. To put it simply, do what you say you are going to do.

8 You Only Put Yourself First

You only put yourself First

A relationship is often about give and take. It is definitely good to put yourself first at times. We all have personal needs and wants and should always look to fulfill ourselves, but do not forget about your partner.

We understandably have to put ourselves first at times, but there is a difference between taking care of oneself and being unavailable to your partner. To form a successful relationship, you have to find that balance.

7 You Have A Wandering Eye

Wandering Eye

This one is difficult. There is no harm in being attracted to someone you see in public. We are human, and being in a relationship does not mean your eyes no longer work. Where do we draw the line? When does staring become disrespectful to your partner?

That is hard to judge because it is totally up to your partner to decide when you have crossed the line from adoration to interest. There is something we call “doing too much.” You can be attracted, but do not look at them like a t-bone fresh off the grill.

6 You are Critical of Everything Your Partner Does

Being too Critical of your Partner

According to psychology, criticizing others is a form of ego-protection, which means that people use it to cover up their own perceived flaws. Because of my exaggerated fears and worries about how I feel about being successful, I might critique someone else’s home. Or, I can be insecure about my own looks and judge someone’s attractiveness.

If you are doing this to others, you are more than likely doing it to your partner. Allow people the space to be imperfect, and do not project your insecurities on them.

5 You Are Irresponsible with Money

Relationships Overspending

Financial struggles are one of the biggest killers of relationships. The lack of communication about finances can also be a death sentence for many romantic partnerships.

You don’t necessarily need to accept poor financial habits, like keeping secret accounts, but you need to acknowledge that you and your partner are two distinct people with two different perspectives on money. Remember that the decisions you make financially can also affect your partner. Have those talks about life goals. Determine your future wants and needs and how you can achieve them together.

Never take on huge financial commitments without talking it over with your partner first.

4 You Consistently Put Friends and Family over your Partner


This is another one of those grey areas. It is often difficult to juggle friends and family and also your relationship. There can be times when you need to focus on things outside of your home, but you always have to be careful to not lose sight of making sure your partner is not forgotten.
It is not a bad thing to focus on relationships that are not romantic. It is necessary to continue to feed those. Just be careful to find a good balance.

3 Not Controlling Your Anger

Relationship Arguing

Humans are emotional beings. We often show our frustration through words or actions. It is of the utmost importance to control those emotions and not fly off the handle everytime something angers you.

If you know something is a trigger, separate yourself during the occurrence of it. Find better ways to communicate when you are feeling that frustration. If the goal is to better a situation anger will not be the answer. Feeling anger and frustration is normal, but how you respond to those feelings defines who you are.

2 Not Taking Responsibility for your Actions

Apologize when wrong

Taking responsibility for your poor choices or actions is a sign of maturity. We often hate to apologize because it feels like admitting you were wrong. Sometimes you are.

When you are wrong, own up to it. Offer a sincere apology and take corrective action in the future. Saying “I’m sorry”, and meaning it goes a long way.

1 Lack of Trust

Relationship Trust

Trust is the glue that holds a relationship together. It is an all-encompassing word that has many meanings, but without it your relationship will not exist. 

“Trust is the foundation of any relationship,” Reena B. Patel, a board-certified behavior analyst, licensed educational psychologist, and author, explains.

 “Lack of trust can sabotage a relationship before it begins,” she says. Respect, according to Patel, demonstrates to your partner your appreciation for them, which makes you feel safe and assured.

“Trust provides motivation and positive energy to help support a healthy relationship.”

Kato Leonard is a DorkDesk staff member who continues to invent new ways to fulfill his creative passions. Most known as the “MySpace Guy” or “Kato3000”, Kato has been building and running websites since he was 14-years-old with the most notable website…

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